Letters to Stories: Behind “Trust”

By Simon Heywood

Trust is one of the biggest things one person can give another nowadays. Next to love and hope, it is one of the most fragile things two people can share. And all to often, it is broken, which leaves love and hope to crumble immediately after. Trust is hard to rebuild after it is shattered. And in today’s world, people aren’t willing to even give second chances to rebuild, which at times, is understandable given the amount of actually awful people there are in the world.

As you probably guessed, this poem I wrote, Trust, has to do with the trust lost between me and a couple old friends I had in my life. When trouble struck, and I tried to be a helping hand, I accidentally overstepped and revealed something that I was unaware was long past. In doing so, a friend disclosed to me how I lost their trust, and I proposed to them that we should slowly work to rebuild it, because I still loved and cared for them.

In seeing that they agreed to this slow rebuilding, my eagerness at this second chance they were willing to give me blinded me to the fact that they actually didn’t give a second chance at all. It was all an illusion, and I realized this after trying four times to reach out to them over the span of six months. Six months, spreading out my attempts to reach out, genuinely wishing them the best, only to be met with ice-cold silence. Honestly, in those moments of being ghosted, and even now, I feel betrayed, because at the end of the day, this person, who I was willing to give up my sanity for, to slowly rebuild a friendship and trust with, lied to me.

Like I said before, this poem is not just about this one old friend of mine, but about a couple of them. This second one is actually more of a mystery to me and is actually the same friend that heavily inspired my poem Summer Ghost. This was the first friend from my former college I confided my deepest secret to. And things always seemed stable and good between the two of us. I still have no idea what happened, because near the end of the summer, when I sent them a message of good will and best wishes, they just left me on “read.” Any attempt at a personal message and I’m left with a “read receipt”. A public posting to their timeline to express my happiness for them and I receive a “Thank you!” After that, I reply to one of their “Instagram Stories” and I am met with another “Read Receipt.”

I have no idea what went wrong between this friend and I. All I know is that every time I think of them now, I feel the pain of betrayal, and then I think of all the times I’ve been betrayed in my life. Some people just grow apart. But I didn’t expect to grow apart from this person in two months. In May we were talking and then in July, that’s when the silence started.

Trust is so easily broken and almost impossible to repair. Never take someone you trust and someone who trusts you for granted. Cherish those bonds, because those are so rare nowadays.

Trust is out now on my Instagram. I post poems weekly on my feed on Sundays or Mondays.

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